6-20-2013

Written on 6-20-2013 on my phone.

I have just fed Kara and changed her diaper. Went downstairs and got my breakfast and brought it back up for breakfast in bed. Matt just started his 7 days on, so it is pretty much Kara and I for the next 7 days.

Can't believe our 9th anniversary will be here in 5 days! So strange to have been married that long already. Love Mattie so much! But I can't also believe how lucky I am that Kara is in our lives. I know she will grow up and develop into who she is meant to be and will get married and one day sit with her little one in her room by her side one day too, probably will feel sooner than later as I have been told "enjoy them, cause they grow up fast"! I do understand that as it has been amazing to watch her grow. It is crazy that once she finds something like smiling it just becomes part of her. She now likes to giggle. We have caught her on tape twice now. Once with me sniffing here sides and once when she and her daddy are playing together, which made my heart just fly.

I love how she lights up and smiles and talks to me when I get into the room to pick her up in the morning. Or after she has spit up or had a blowout, she gives me the biggest smile that lights up her whole face and makes me crack a smile even with the fun of having to clean up.

I don't particularly like these things but I wouldn't give them up!

Matt and I recently went and saw the new Superman movie. It made me want to cry when superman's kryptonian parents put him in a spaceship to send him to earth to save him from being destroyed with their world. I can't imagine their heartbreak of not seeing him grow up! I can't imagine not having Kara! I know last year we had given up on having kids through adoption and were just going to move on with living, but I want to say how impressive and beyond any comprehension what birth parents do when they place their little ones with another loving family to be raised and loved. You birth parents are the super parents that are in the movie Superman movie. I know Matt and I struggled and are supremely happy and glad we had Kara, but I am thankful for those birth parents sacrifice for whatever reason it is to place their loved ones with other families! Without you we wouldn't have Matt's older brother and sister. I also know the other side of having the hope taken away at being told you have been selected by a birth mother and then it being taken away.

Gut wrenching! But I don't know the feelings of the birth family after the placement or the longing of the birth parents wondering about their child they so compassionately placed. There are so many sides to adoption that I couldn't imagine! I am thankful for those hopeful times though that Matt and I had to share and help us grow as we waited for Heavenly Father to bless is with our miracle, Kara. To all those who read this and me especially, always be grateful! Life will constantly change and have ups and downs but remember that Happiness isn't a destination but a state of mind.

Enjoy what you are going through as you will never experience it the same again as we are all constantly changing and growing!